Tags

, , ,

Friday! It’s Friday and you should be reading Feel Good Friday jokes. However, overnight I was sent the Sky News recording from the People’s Book Prize Award ceremony so I wanted to share that with you first. Please would you ‘like’ the video and share it with others who you think might have voted for Grumpy Old Menopause. I would love to thank you all.

SKY NEWS/THE PEOPLE’S BOOK PRIZE 6TH AWARDS EVENT CEREMONY:

0.01 to 2.26 Introductions

2.26 to 3.07 Running order

3.50 to 6.40 Non Fiction

8.41 to 12.08 Children’s

12.18 to 16.20 Fiction

16.25 to 20.00 Beryl Bainbridge First Time Author Award

20.00 to 22.35 Best Achievement and Finale

And so…today’s jokes. Hope they make you smile.

*

Did you hear about the chickens who lived in a cement mixer?
They laid scrambled eggs.

*

What do you call a scary chicken?
A poultrygeist.

*

How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.

*

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Chicken your pockets maybe your keys are in there.

What do you call an egg that goes on safari?
An eggs-plorer!

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

R SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

TRICIA
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of moulting, and went on to accomplish its dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together – in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES

Chicken2003 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your cheque book – and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
What is your definition of chicken?

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

HOMER SIMPSON
Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n

Advertisements