These Feel Good Fridays come around quickly, don’t they? I’ve been working hard on the new novel which is set in part in a showroom with some right characters there. Consequently, I felt it appropriate to give our weekly dose of laughter a wheeled theme. Starting off with apparently real insurance claims:
This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q – What warning was given by you?
A – Horn
Q – What warning was given by the other party?
A – Moo
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
I collided with a stationery truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.
As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found I had a fractured skull.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
I saw a slow-moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some cows.
A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge. The judge said, “What will you take: 30 days or £30?” The man thought for a moment and replied, “I think I’ll take the money.”
What’s the difference between a Lada and a golf ball?
You can drive a golf ball 200 metres
The police pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver.
“Is there a reason why you’re weaving all over the road?” the officer asks.
The woman replied, “Oh thank goodness you’re here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!”
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror,
The officer replied, “that’s your air freshener”
Many moons ago Datsun were having gearbox problems. Urgent parts were airfreighted in but unfortunately the cargo aircraft’s freight door failed and some cargo was lost.
All was resolved when the police got a report from an alert member of the public that in his area it was raining Datsun cogs.
Have a good weekend and remember to smile while you still have teeth.