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DSC00515My jokes today come from Jim Webster. Jim is a fellow Safkhet author who really should take up stand up comedy instead of farming. You can check out his blog and books by clicking n his name above.

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Two local police officers call the station on the radio. “Hello. Is this the Sarge?”

“Yes?”

“We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped.”

“Have you arrested the woman?”

“No sir. The floor is still wet.”

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A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to makelove to her three times a day”.

The teacher, shocked, and… not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie – what do you want to be when you grow up? ” the teacher asks.

Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s bitch…”

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Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.

Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller

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