Apologies for the break in posts. I have been working hard on the new book and now that I am on final edits, I have emerged from my garret and hope to make you smile. Given that I have found quite a few typos and grammatical errors in my book so far, it seems appropriate to theme this post ‘mistakes’ this week.
Here are a few to make you chuckle before I get back to edits. Have a good weekend!
Mistakes found on people’s CVs:
“I have had sex jobs so far…”
“I enjoy cooking Italians and Chinese.”
“I speak fluent English and Spinach.”
Two dumb cowboys each had their own horse, but they could never tell them apart. So the first cowboy said, “I’ve got it!”
The second cowboy said, “What?”
“I’ll shave the mane on my horse.” So the cowboy shaves the mane on his horse. But after a while the main grew back. The cowboys are still having a really hard time telling the horses apart. Then the one cowboy said, “I’ve got it!”
“What? What? What’s your idea now?” says the other.
“I’ll cut the tail on my horse really small.”
“Alright! Let’s do it!”
So he cut the tail really short. But after a while it grew back.
Finally, after much thought the second cowboy said, “Okay, this time I’ve got it. You take the black one and I’ll take white one.”
Eye Halve a Spelling Chequer
I have a spelling checker.
It came with my pea sea.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it’s weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when I rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o’er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checker’s Hour
spelling mite decline,
And if we’re lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flair,
Their are no fault’s with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a ware.
Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word’s fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw’s are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays,
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting too pleas.