smiley stress ballApologies to my American friends today, but since the jokes came from Ralph and he is from Texas, I think you should blame him. Thanks Cathy Speight too for the first funny:

Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them, “It’s illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro.”
“What do you mean it’s illegal?” asks the German driver.
“Quattro means four,” replies the Italian official.
“Quattro is just the name of the car,” the Germans retort unbelievingly. “Look at the damn papers–the car’s designed to carry 5 persons.”
“You can’t pull that one on me!” replies the Italian customs officer. “Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law.”
The German driver replies angrily, “You idiot! Call your Supervisor over. I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!”
“Sorry,” responds the Italian officer, “He can’t come. He’s busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.”

*

A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. “Entschuldigung, sprechen Sie Deutsch?” he asks.
The two Americans just stare at him.
“Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” he tries. The two continue to stare. “Parlare Italiano?” No response. “Hablan ustedes Espanol?” Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.”
“Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.”

*

A person who speaks two languages is bilingual… A person who speaks three languages is trilingual… A person who speaks four or more languages is multilingual.
What is a person who speaks one language?
An American.

*

Two translators on a ship are talking.

“Can you swim?” asks one.

“No” says the other, “but I can shout for help in nine languages.”

*

Bon weekend!

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