Tags

,

20140515_094621_resizedIn preparation for my post tomorrow, the Feel Good Friday theme today is … cue the music from Jaws … sharks. There is a link. Come back tomorrow and all will be made clear. Thank you to Patti and Eric for these :

What kind of shark is always gambling?
A cardshark

What is a shark’s favourite sci-fi show?
Shark Trek

What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Can’t Touch This?”
An M.C. Hammerhead.

What was the shark’s favourite Pixar movie?
Eating Nemo

Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.

What do sharks like to eat with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!

What happens when you cross a great white shark with a trumpet fish?
I don’t know…but I wouldn’t want to play it!

What do you call the mushy stuff between a great white’s shark teeth?
Slow swimmers.

What happened to the shark that swallowed a bunch of keys?
It got lockjaw.

Why did the shark cross the Great Barrier Reef?
To get to the other tide.

What do sharks order at McDonalds?
A quarter-flounder with cheese!

*

 

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were trying to cross a shark-infested river in the jungle. The Englishman was first to cross and he lost an arm to a shark. Next, the Scotsman crossed and he lost a leg. Finally, The Irishman waded across the river without a shark laying a tooth on him.
“How did you manage that?” they asked.
“It was easy,” smiled The Irishman, “I just wore a tee-shirt with ‘England for The World Cup’ on it. Not even sharks would swallow that.”

*

 Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.
“Follow me son” the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people. The father added, “First, we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.”
And they did.
“Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing.”
And they did.
“Now we eat everybody.”
And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, “Dad, why didn’t we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?”
His wise father replied, “Because they taste better if you scare the *@^! out of them first!”

*

See you tomorrow!

Advertisements