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20140801_070236_resizedI have a silly collection of jokes this week all on the topic of frogs.  (Sponsored by the German frog in the photo- Grünhilda.)

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A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
The boy picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog said, “Hey, if you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I’ll love you forever.”
The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and put it back in his pocket.
The frog yelled, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll clean your house, cook for you, and love you forever.”
The boy took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back.
Finally the frog asked, “What is it? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess, that I’ll cook and clean for you and love you forever. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The boy said, “Look, I’m a cub scout. I don’t have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool.”

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How deep is Frog Lake?
Knee-deep, knee-deep!

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A librarian is working on her index system when a chicken enters the library and walks up to her desk. The chicken clucks, “Book, book, book, BOOK!”

Bemused, the librarian sets a pile of four books in front of the chicken. The chicken grabs them and disappears out the front door.
About an hour later, the same chicken returns, sets the four books down on the desk and again squawks, “Book, book, book, BOOK!”

The librarian wonders what the chicken is doing with these books, but since they seem to be in fine shape, she takes the returns and gives the chicken 4 more books. The chicken zips out the door and down the road.
Another hour passes and the librarian hears a loud “Book, book, book, BOOK!” She looks up from her work and sees the chicken back yet again. By now, the librarian’s curiosity has got the better of her. She gives the chicken four more books and it heads for the door. This time, as soon as the chicken is gone, the librarian jumps up and runs to the door. She follows the chicken down the road for a half mile to an old farm. The chicken ducks through the fence and disappears into a cluster of trees.

The librarian hops the fence, and sneaks up to the trees. As she moves some branches aside, she sees the chicken standing by a pond handing each book to a frog. As the frog looks at the cover of each book, he says, “Read it. Read it. Read it.”

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Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He was going to robbit.

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Two frogs sitting on a lily pad when a fly came buzzing by. One frog put out his tongue, ate the fly, and started laughing. Soon the other frog joined in the laughter.

Then the other frog ate a fly and the two frogs burst out in laughter. As time went on, the frogs enjoyed the flies so much they nearly fell off their lily pad laughing.
A third frog hopped up to the first two and asked what was so funny. The first frog answered “Time.”
“Huh?” asked the third frog.
The second frog explained: “Time’s fun when your having flies.”

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A Frog Story… Are you sitting comfortably?

There once was a frog king, who was king to thousands of frogs and they all lived happily in a huge grass hut.

The king had a hobby of collecting thrones. He had hundreds of them, and he stored them all in the attic of the huge grass hut they all lived in. Every time he got a new throne that he liked better than the one he was sitting on, he would replace it and store the old one in the attic along with the rest of his collection. He was becoming disgruntled with his current very large and ornate, gold throne. This particular throne was very heavy and was also very cold and hard to sit on, so the king was hoping to add to his collection soon. It happened sooner than he expected when his best friend from a neighbouring kingdom, ‘croaked’ and left his throne to the king in his will.

After waiting an appropriate period of mourning, the king sent some of his runners to pick up the throne. They returned with a beautifully carved, jewel-encrusted teak wood throne which also had a padded leather seat cushion. Wow! He fell in love with it right away, and soon his subjects were trying to move the heavy old gold throne up to the attic with the rest of the collection. Well, it took hundreds and hundreds of his minions to push and pull this very heavy gold throne to the attic of this grass hut. As soon as they reached the top of the stairs the weight of the gold throne plus the rest of the stored collection was too much for the grass hut and it collapsed, killing the frog king and all his subjects!

The moral of this story …

PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GRASS HOUSES, SHOULDN’T STOWE THRONES.

Have a good weekend!

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