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bert1After my last post about Bert, I had to keep up the theme with Feel Good Friday jokes. They are all about parrots. Watch the video at the bottom all the way through. It should make you cackle with laughter.

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A man took his bird to the avian vet because it had been sick. The vet said, “I have good news and I have bad news. The bad news is, your bird has chirpees. The good news is, it’s tweetable.”

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One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on an exotic parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid – the fine bird was finally his!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can’t talk!”

“Don’t worry”, said the Auctioneer. “He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?”

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his torch around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, “Jesus is watching you.”
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked off his torch, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, promised himself a holiday after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, “Jesus is watching you.”
Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the
corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
“Did you say that?” He hissed at the parrot.
“Yep,” the parrot confessed, then squawked. “I’m just trying to warn you.”
The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?”
“Moses,” replied the bird.
“Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”
“The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.” it replied.

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 A lady walked into a pet shop looking to buy a parrot, she spent some time looking around and then went to the sales clerk and asked, “Why do you have some parrot down here near the floor and the others way up there?”
The sales clerk replied, “Those ones up there are on higher perches.”

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Polynesia: Memory loss in parrots.

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Have a good weekend!

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