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We have a mixed bag of jokes this week. They’ve come from various sources who enjoy this blog. Thank you all. You know who you are.

tortoise

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. He passed a sign that said “low bridge ahead.”
Before he knew it, the bridge was right ahead of him and he got stuck under the bridge. You could say that he got a rock solid “Trucker’s Wedgie.”
Cars were backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car pulled up. The cop got out of his car and walked around to the truck driver, put his hands on his hips and said, “Got stuck, huh?”
The truck driver said, “No officer, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!”

*

After she woke up, a woman told her husband,
“I just had a dream that you gave me the most beautiful diamond necklace. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight.” he said with a smile.
The woman could hardly think of anything else all day and she couldn’t wait for her husband to return home.
That evening, the man finally came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it excitedly to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams”.

*

A man goes to the doctor and says: “Doctor, there’s a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom.” The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.

The man asks: “Is it serious, doctor?” and the doctor replies: “I’m sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.”

*

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages.

When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife.

After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?”

He replied, “That would be fine with me.”

Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

*

Hope you have a super weekend.

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