Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
Woman: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club”?
Woman: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it okay if I buy it”?
Man: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
Woman: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2014 models. I saw one that I really liked.”
Man: “How much”?
Man: “Okay, but for that price, I want it with all the options.”
Woman: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
Man: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It’s really a pretty good price.”
Woman: “Okay. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!”
Man: “Bye! I love you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He smiles and asks, “Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”
At a dinner party, the speaker who was the guest of honour, was about to deliver his speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word “KISS” scribbled on it.
A guest seated next to the speaker said, “Your wife has sent you a KISS before you begin your speech. She must love you very much.”
Speaker replied, “You don’t know my wife. The letters stand for “Keep It Short, Stupid.”
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”
One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”
“It depends,” She replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma.”
Have an enjoyable weekend!