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AUTHOR3AE25Got a cracking pair of jokes for you today. The first comes from the hilarious Cathy Speight and the second from the lovely Michele Turner. Thanks ladies.

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Jim receives an e-mail from his neighbour: “Sorry Jim, but I have been using your wife… day and night whenever you’re not at home. In fact, probably more than you. I’m confessing now because I feel really guilty. I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies. I will ask your permission in the future and probably be willing to pay.

Upon reading this, Jim gets his gun and without uttering a word he shoots his wife.

A few minutes later he receives another e-mail: “Sorry Jim: I meant ‘wifi,’ not ‘ wife!

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Mick, from Dublin, appeared on ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire‘ and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.

“You’ve done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show’s presenter,
“But for a million euros you’ve only got one life-line left…phone a friend.
Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?”

“Sure,” said Mick. “I’ll have a go!”

“Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?

a)  Sparrow

 

b)  Thrush

 

c)  Magpie

 

d) Cuckoo?”

 

“I haven’t got a clue,” said Mick.

”So I’ll use my last life-line and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin.”

Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
“Bloody hell, Mick!” cried Paddy.  “Dat’s simple it’s a cuckoo.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m bloody sure.”

Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, “I’ll go with d) cuckoo as my answer.”

“Is that your final answer?” asked   Chris.

“Dat it is.”

There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, “Cuckoo is the correct answer!  Mick, you’ve won one million euros!”

The next night, Mick invited Paddy and some friends to their local pub to buy them a drink.

“Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven’s name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn’t build its own nest?”

“Because he lives in a bloody clock, ya dumb bastard!”

 

Today’s is your last opportunity to win a chocolate Scrabble game and a signed copy of Grumpy Old Menopause. The big tour winds down at Tishylous’ blog today where she has given her verdict on Grumpy Old Menopause. Read what she says HERE and why not enter the draw?

Have a great weekend and be sure to drop by on Sunday when I have a very special post for you.

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