Friday already? This year is already rushing by. Here we go then. This week’s jokes are from Frank, Cathy, Chris and Suzanne. Thank you all very much indeed.
If you feel like a sing along, pop over to my post at After the Final Chapters, where you’ll discover my version of Feeling Moody! Click HERE and come and have a sing with me.
A doctor is going round the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the chap is laying half dead.
“Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?” asks the doctor.
“Oh, no,” replies the nurse, “I gave him eight tablets every two hours!”
At the next bed the next patient also appears half dead.
“Nurse, did you give this man one tablet every twelve hours?”
“Oops, I gave him twelve tablets every one hour,” replies the nurse.
Unfortunately at the next bed the patient is well and truly deceased, not an ounce of life. “Nurse,” asks the doctor, “did you prick his boil?”
“OH MY GOODNESS!” replies the nurse.
“Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon says, “Electricians are the best, everything inside is color-coded.”
The second surgeon says, “No, I think librarians are, everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
The third surgeon shuts them up when he says, “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine.
Plus, the head and the arse are interchangeable.”
It was ‘2 for the price of 1’ at the Vet’s today,
although my other pet didn’t really need putting down.
It’s “Jamaican hairstyle day” at work tomorrow. I’m dreading it.
I went into the kitchen and found my fridge had exploded. I think something may have gone off in there.
I Googled “Missing medieval servant”. It came up with “Page not found”.
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head.
“I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name ‘Marylou’ written on it,” she said, furious. “You had better have an explanation.”
“Calm down, honey,” the man replied. “Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on.”‘
The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again.
“What was that for?” he complained.
“Your dog called last night.”
Have a good weekend!