comedy bookIf you constantly advise people to behave disgracefully or take up crazy hobbies, then, at some stage you’re going to have to practice what you preach.

The last couple of weeks have been spent preparing for what I hope will be an evening of entertainment and laughter. It won’t be just your usual author talk, oh no, I am going to have a go at stand-up comedy.

I suppose it was only going to be a matter of time before I had a go at it. After all, I write humour and I was a teacher. Fuse the two and you must get some sort of weird comedienne or, complete flop, depending which way the event goes.

The good thing about attempting this at my age is that firstly, you can’t see the audience, consequently, you can’t see them looking bored and secondly, you can’t hear the boos or laughter. I shall just assume everyone is having a good time and race off at the end of the event.

I’ve been extremely lucky, though. Comic Joel Soetendorp AKA Sooty Jay has been coaching me, giving me tips and helped me with some original jokes and material for the talk. Joel is not only a comedian but has written jokes for greetings cards, gags for the company 118 118 for customers who wanted 140 character non-offensive jokes, worked for PH Brands writing humorous answerphone messages, written for radio shows and e Magazines, and done a whole host of other stuff.

His book How To Do Stand Up Comedy is the next best thing to actually paying for a stand-up comedy course. Filled with information and comic tools, it takes you step-by-step through preparing material for an event to getting in front of the microphone. It’s been my bible this last week.

You know how often I write or talk about humour. A sense of humour is imperative to getting through some of the trickier situations that life throws at us so why don’t you have a go at writing a couple of jokes and testing them out on your family? I bet you could come up with some humorous stuff.

In case you can’t come up with anything below are a few puns to share on your Facebook pages or Twitter. Join me and spread some cheer. Now, do any of you know where I can buy plastic dresses in case anyone throws rotten tomatoes at me at my gig?


I tinted my hair today. It was the highlight of my day.

Some clockmakers are normal, but others are a little cuckoo.

The concert violinist believed in exercise, consequently, he was fit as a fiddle.

I heard Einstein got along well with his parents … relatively speaking.

The stripper was getting tired of the same old thong and dance.

I’m not very versed in writing songs, so I refrain from doing it.

Drivers who speed in the snow often find themselves adrift.