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AUTHOR3AE25Sorry folks, I’m going to be taking a short break from the blog and Facebook while I get on with other writing commitments. So, this is the last post until I get my next novel written and edits completed on Love Hurts.

Here’s today’s collection of Feel Good Friday jokes. Hope they keep you chuckling until I get back to you in a couple of weeks. See you soon!

*

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight.” he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it–only to find a book entitled “The Meaning of Dreams”.

*

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a restaurant and sat down to order.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said “Who owns the big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, “I do…Why?”
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead outside!”
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion.
The Lone Ranger got the horse some water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, “Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel a lot better.”
Tonto said, “Sure, Kemosabe” and took off running circles around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the restaurant to finish ordering.
A few minutes later, another cowboy struts in and asks, “Who owns that big white horse outside?”
The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, “I do, what’s wrong with him this time?”
The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, “Nothin’ – but you left your Injun runnin’.”

*

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. So, he says, “Ms. Whack, I’d like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation.”
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
She asks his name and the frog says his name is Kermit Jagger and that it’s okay, he knows the manager.
Patty explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need some collateral against the loan.
She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, “Sure, I have this,” and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says,
“There’s a frog named Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000.
He wants to use this as collateral.”
She holds up the tiny pink elephant and says: “I mean, what the heck is this?”
So the bank manager looks back at her and says,
“It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”

*

People are like potatoes:

  • Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are content to watch others do… They are called “Speck Tators.”
  • Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do things… They’re called “Comment Tators.”
  • Some are always looking to cause problems and really get under your skin… They are called “Aggie Tators.”
  • There are those who are always saying they will, but somehow, they never get around to doing… We call them “Hezzie Tators.”
  • Some people put on a front and act like someone else… They’re called “Emma Tators.”
  • Then, there are those who walk what they talk. They’re always prepared to stop what they’re doing to lend a hand to others, and bring real sunshine into the lives of others. They are called “Sweet Tators”.
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