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So, another year is upon us. I like to think of this brand new year as a fresh notebook and you have 365 pages to fill. So, let’s make them all fun! Here’s a light-hearted start to the year:

New Year’s Resolutions You Have No Chance of Keeping

When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, “LOL, LMAO, or ROTFLMAO!”

Start using Facebook for something other than Farmville and stupid quizzes.

I resolve to work with neglected children… my own.

Lose 20 pounds by going to the gym.

I will spend less than five hours a day on the Internet.

I will read the manual… just as soon as I can find it.

Spend less than £500 for coffee at Starbucks this year.

Stop repeating myself again, and again, and again.

I will stop tagging pictures of myself in pictures even when I’m not in them.

I will think of a password other than “password”.

New Year’s Resolutions You Can Actually Keep

Put on at least 30 pounds.

Stop exercising.

Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some good stuff.

Watch more movie remakes.

Procrastinate more.

I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

Drink. Drink some more.

Take up a new habit: maybe smoking.

Happy New Year!