Tags

, ,

AUTHOR3AE25I am a huge fan of laughter. It has extraordinary benefits. Humour can assist in times of need and certainly can help when you feel off colour. As I always say, “A joke a day, keeps the doctor away!” Here are a few to give you a grin and keep you healthy.

* * * * *

Doctor doctor, I feel rather round, like a snooker ball!
Well wait at the end of the cue!

*     *     *     *     *

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!

Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!

Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil ‘till I get there

Doctor, Doctor I think I’m a bell?
Take these and if it doesn’t help give me a ring!

Doctor, Doctor I think I’m suffering from Deja Vu!
Didn’t I see you yesterday?

*     *     *     *     *

A woman went to see the doctor.
Doctor: “You are looking very weak and exhausted madam? Are you properly taking the four meals a day that I advised?”
Woman: “Oh my God, you said four meals? I thought you said four males!”

*     *     *     *     *

A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three very large, leathered bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man’s milk and then he too took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man’s plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.
Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, “Humph, not much of a man, was he?”
The waitress replied, “Not much of a truck driver either, he just backed his big-rig over three motorcycles.”

(Thanks to Fishducky for this and the next one!)

* * * * *

A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting outside at a nudist colony. The history professor asked: “Have you read Marx?” The psychology professor replied: “Yes. I think it’s from the wicker chairs.”

* * * * *

A man rushes into a pharmacy. “Have you got anything for hiccoughs?” he asks.
The pharmacist leans across the counter and slaps him hard across the face.
“Why did you do that?” asks the astounded man.
“Well, you don’t have hiccoughs anymore, do you?” replies the pharmacist.
“No, I don’t but my wife who is in the car outside does!”

*     *     *     *     *

Don’t forget to send me your jokes. I am always looking out for new material.

Advertisements