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IMG_0870Some days I think I am merging with my computer because I spend so long on the internet. I fear it and I will bond to form one strange creature if I am not careful. So, here are some jokes to prove I am still human (for the moment!)

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How do trees get on the Internet?
They log in.
What do computers like to eat?
Chips.
What is a computer’s first sign of old age?
Loss of memory.
What happened when the computer fell on the floor?
It slipped a disk.
Why was there a bug in the computer?
It was looking for a byte to eat.
What is a computer virus?
A terminal illness.
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.
Have you heard about the Disney virus?
It makes everything on your computer go Goofy.

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A mother noticed that when her son was logging onto a favourite website, he typed in a very long password. She asked him what it was, and he replied, “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto.” She asked him why he would use such a password. “Because,” he explained, “it says your password has to have at least four characters.”

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One day, a ragged individual stranded for several months on a small deserted island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message. “Due to lack of maintenance,” he read, “we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account.”

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A man and wife were both in an Internet business, but it was the husband who truly lived, ate and breathed computers. His wife finally realized how bad it had gotten when one day she was scratching his back, and he said “No, not there. Scroll down a little.”

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Home is where you hang your @.
The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks.
Great groups from little icons grow.
C: is the root of all directories.
Don’t put all your hypes in one home page.
Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
Too many clicks spoil the browse.
The geek shall inherit the earth.
Don’t byte off more than you can view.
Fax is stranger than fiction.
What boots up must come down.
Windows will never cease.
Virtual reality is its own reward.
Modulation in all things.
A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
There’s no place like home.com
Know what to expect before you connect.

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Have a great weekend…don’t spend too much time on the internet and remember to laugh while you still have teeth! TTFN!

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