Tags

, ,

IMG_0870Given that I am about to launch Just add Spice, on the 25th July, I thought it appropriate to do a Feel Good Friday special about books. Hope these put a smile on your face.

*     *     *     *     *

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, ‘Buk Buk BUK.’ The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them…and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.

Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,’ Buk Buk BuKKOOK!’ The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.

The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, ‘Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!’ The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.

She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, “Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit…”

*     *     *     *     *

Little Johnny asked and received help from a librarian on how to use the card catalog. In a little while, he approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell “tequila”.

“T-e-q-u-i-l-a,” spelled the librarian, and Little Johnny thanked her and went
back to his search.

A short time later he came to the desk, looking quite distraught. “I just can’t find it,” he said.

“What book are you looking for?” the librarian asked.

Replied Little Johnny, “Tequila Mockingbird.”

*     *     *     *     *

My father gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday.
I couldn’t find the words to thank him.

*     *     *     *     *

If you don’t know what the word “dictionary” means,
where would you look it up?

*     *     *     *     *

And finally:

The “BOOK” is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It’s so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover! Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere–even sitting in an armchair by the fire–yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.

Here’s how it works …

Each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs in half. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now BOOKs with more information simply use more pages. This makes them thicker and harder to carry, and has drawn some criticism from the mobile computing crowd. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The BOOK never crashes and never needs rebooting, though like other display devices it can become unusable if dropped overboard. The “browse” feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an “index” feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session–even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.

Conversely, numerous bookmarkers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.

The media is ideal for long-term archive use. Several field trials have proven that the media will still be readable in several centuries, and because of its simple user interface it will be compatible with future reading devices.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with an optional programming tool, the Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (Pencils). Portable, durable, and affordable, the BOOK is being hailed as the entertainment wave of the future. The BOOK’s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

*     *     *     *     *

Have a great weekend and if the sun is shining, go in the garden and read a book!

Advertisements