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The school holidays are almost upon us here in the UK and have started elsewhere in the world. Let’s celebrate with some of the silliest exam answers I could find.

I am no stranger to ridiculous and funny answers because I used to be a teacher. I have also been the writer of stupid answers. At the tender age of six I took an exam. One question asked:

“Can you name five fruits and five vegetables?”

I thought long and hard, wrote out all ten, rubbed them all out with my eraser and wrote, “Yes, I can!”

Here are few that tickled me:

Q: What is a vibration?

A: There are good and bad vibrations. Good vibrations were discovered in the 1960s.

Q: Name one of the early Roman’s greatest achievements.

A: Learning to speak Latin.

Q: To change centimeters to meters you ….?

A: Take out centi.

Q: Where was The American Declaration of Independence signed?

A: At the bottom.

Q: What is meant by the term ‘hermaphrodite?’

A: Lady Gaga.

Q: What did Mahatma Ghandi and Genghis Khan have in common?

A: Unusual names.

Q: Name six animals which live specifically in the Arctic.

A: Two polar bears. Three Four seals.

Q: What is the highest frequency noise that a human can register?

A: Mariah Carey.

Q: What is a fibula?

A: A little lie.

Q: Why would living near a mobile phone mast cause ill health?

A: You might walk into it.

Q: Explain the phrase ‘free press’

A: When your mum irons trousers for you.

Q: Joanna works in an office. Her computer is a stand-alone system. What is a stand-alone computer system?

A: It doesn’t come with a chair.

Q: Steve is driving his car. He is travelling at 60 feet/second and the speed limit is 40 mph. Is Steve speeding?

A: He could find out by checking his speedometer.

Q: Briefly explain what hard water is.

A: Ice.

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