Right, here we go with a couple of jokes to make you chuckle:
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A group of women attended a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husband. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husbands?” All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?” Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn’t remember. The women were then told to take their cell-phones and send the following text: “I love you, sweetheart.” Then the women were asked to share the responses from their husbands.
+ Who is this?
+ What now? Did you crash the car again?
+ I don’t understand what you mean?
+ What did you do now?
+ Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
+ Am I dreaming?
+ I thought we agreed not to drink during the day.
+ Your mother is coming to stay?
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A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.. Seeing God, she asked “Is my time up?”
God said, “No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?”
God replied: ” I didn’t recognize you.”
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I hope you all have a lovely weekend. Don’t forget, “He who laughs…lasts!”