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IMG_0870Friday! Sit back, have a laugh and prepare for the weekend. There’s a theme this week. Bet you can’t guess what it is!

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A ship’s captain radios a lighthouse keeper. “Radio reception is very bad. Please spell out your weather report.”

The lighthouse keeper replies, “W-E-T-H-O-R R-E-P-O-R-T.”

The captain says, “My goodness, that’s the worst spell of weather I’ve had in a long time.”

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A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone rang.

The husband picked up the phone and said, “Hello? How the heck do I know? What do I look like, a weatherman?” He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.

“Who was that?” asked his wife.

“I don’t know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear.”

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Question: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?

Answer: Foul weather.

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Question: What do you call a months worth of rain?

Answer: England

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What’s a bigamist? An Italian fog.

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A long time ago, in Communist Russia, there was a famous weather man named Rudolf.

He’s always had a 100% accuracy rate for his forecasts of the Russian weather conditions. His people loved him and respected him for his faultless foresight. He was particularly good at predicting rain. One night, despite clear skies, he made the prediction on the 6 O’ clock news broadcast that a violent storm was approaching. It would flood the town in which he and his wife lived. He warned the people to take proper precautions and prepare for the worst.

After he arrived home later that evening, his wife met him at the door and started arguing with him that his weather prediction was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard. This time, she said, he had made a terrible mistake. There wasn’t a cloud anywhere within 10 miles of the village. As a matter of fact, that day had been the most beautiful day that the town had ever had and it was quite obvious to everyone that it simply wasn’t going to rain.

He told her she was to be quiet and listen to him. If he said it was going to rain, IT WAS GOING TO RAIN. He had all of his Russian heritage behind him and he knew what he was talking about. She argued that although he came from a proud heritage, IT STILL WASN’T GOING TO RAIN.

They argued back and forth for hours , so much that they went to bed mad at each other.

During the night, sure enough one of the worst rainstorms hit the village the likes of which they had never seen. That morning when Rudolf and his wife arose, they looked out the window and saw all the water that had fallen that night.

“See,” said Rudolf, “I told you it was going to rain.” His wife admitted: “Once again your prediction came true. But I want to know, just how were you so accurate, Rudolf?” To which he replied, “You see, Rudolf the Red knows rain dear!

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Wherever you are, have a lovely weekend. Finally, remember that “Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.” – Victor Hugo