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Are you a youthful fifty? Check to see if your humour is in shape. If you laugh at even one of these, then there is hope for you:

  • You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
  • Middle age is when work is a lot less fun – and fun a lot more work.
  • Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn’t that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds?
  • You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.
  • A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
  • Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
  • You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
  • At my age, “getting a little action” means I don’t need to take a laxative.
  • Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
  • You’re getting old when “getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
  • You’re getting old when you’re sitting in a rocker, and you can’t get it started.
  • You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.
  • The cardiologist’s diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
  • Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news – the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.
  • It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.
  • There are three signs of old age. The first is one’s loss of memory, the other two I forget.
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