Are you a youthful fifty? Check to see if your humour is in shape. If you laugh at even one of these, then there is hope for you:
- You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
- Middle age is when work is a lot less fun – and fun a lot more work.
- Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn’t that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds?
- You know you’re getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.
- A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
- Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
- You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
- At my age, “getting a little action” means I don’t need to take a laxative.
- Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- You’re getting old when “getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
- You’re getting old when you’re sitting in a rocker, and you can’t get it started.
- You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.
- The cardiologist’s diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
- Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news – the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.
- It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.
- There are three signs of old age. The first is one’s loss of memory, the other two I forget.