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IMG_0870Oh yes! It’s that special day of the week. Not only is the weekend almost here but we celebrate by having a good old giggle.

Thank you to Rob Harrison for his contribution to the jokes today, and here we go:

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Question: What does a Mexican have beneath his carpet?

Answer: Underlay, underlay!

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish … and he’ll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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Two monkeys were getting into the bath. One said, “Oo, oo, oo, aah, aah aah.”
The other replied, “Well put some cold in it then.”

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An envelope came through the door today and it was marked ‘PLEASE DO NOT BEND’. I still haven’t worked out how I am supposed to pick it up.

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What’s green and sings?
Elvis Parsley

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A chemist walks into his shop to find a man leaning against the wall. He asks, “What’s wrong with him?”
His assistant replies, “He came in for cough syrup but I couldn’t find any so I gave him a bottle of laxatives.”
“Idiot,” says the chemist, “You can’t treat a cough with laxatives.”
“Of course you can,” the assistant replied. “Look at him now, he’s too afraid to cough.”

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A man walks into a pub with a salmon under his arm. He asks the barman, “Do you do fishcakes?” The barman shakes his head. “Shame,” said the man, “It’s his birthday.”

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If you any jokes to tell please send them to author@carolewyer.co.uk and you too could be featured and booed at next time!

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