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IMG_0870My thanks today go to the delightful Jacquie Gum, author of Confessions of a Corporate Slut (yep, bet that caught your attention!) among others for today’s Feel Good Friday Jokes. You can check out Jacquie at her website by clicking the link HERE. Also thanks to the irrepressible fishducky who blogs HERE.

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So-there’s this girl who jumps off the school bus, runs in the house and says, “Momma, I have the biggest boobs in the whole third grade! Is that because I’m blonde, and the other girls aren’t?” Her mother says, “No Honey, it’s because you’re seventeen years old.”

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Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Doris who?
Doris locked, that’s why I’m knocking!

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We were dressed, and ready to go out to a party.

I phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and when my wife opened the front door to leave the house, a stray alley cat ran into our front room.

My wife went out to the taxi, while I chased the cat upstairs. Waiting in the cab, my wife didn’t want the driver knowing that our house would be empty for the night, so she told the taxi driver, ‘He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.’

A few minutes later, I got into the cab. ‘Sorry I took so long,’ I said, as we drove away. ‘That stupid b*!@# was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her backside with a coat hanger to get her to come out. She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the backyard.’

The cab driver hit a parked car.

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Have a great weekend! And remember, life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.