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IMG_0870It’s time for our weekly chuckle. Are you ready for this week’s jokes?

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A man was sitting at home one evening, when the doorbell rang.  He opened it to find a cockroach on the doorstep.The cockroach immediately punched him between the eyes and scuttled off.

The next evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell  rang. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there again. This time, it punched him, kicked him and karate chopped him before scuttling away.

The third evening, the man was sitting at home when the doorbell rang again. When he answered the door, the cockroach was there yet again. It leapt at him and stabbed him several times before scuttling away. The gravely injured man managed to crawl to the telephone and called  an ambulance.

He was rushed to intensive care, where they just managed to save his life.

The next morning, the doctor was doing his rounds and he stopped to ask the man what had happened, so the man explained about the 6 foot cockroach’s attacks, culminating in the near fatal stabbing.

The doctor looked at him with sympathy and said, “Yes, there’s a nasty bug going around.”

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A man calls home to his wife and says, “Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Scotland with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We’re leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick up my things. Oh, and could you pack my new blue silk pyjamas too.”

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy, but being a good person she does exactly what her husband asked.

The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.   His wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish? He says, “Yes! Lot’s of trout, some pike, and a few salmon. But why didn’t you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to?”

“I did”, she replies, “they’re in your tackle box.”


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Have a great weekend and check out my twitterfeed or Facebook for more daft jokes to keep you smiling. Remember, “he who laughs…lasts!”