Tags

, , ,

laughterI have a few jokes for you today. The first are from Kevin from Clinical Posters especially for all my lovely American followers. Kevin’s website has stacks of useful articles, advice and much more so click on Clinical Posters and pay him a visit.

Theme parks prices are getting way too expensive.
Disney World has a package where a family of four can spend a weekend for a 401K.

Speaking of theme parks, you know the group AWB (Average White Band)?
They’re opening a DOG theme park…
It’s called “Pick Up The Pieces.

* * * * *

Two asparagus spears are walking down the road when one gets hit by a car and is taken away in an ambulance. His friend waits for news of him at the hospital. After a long time in the operating theatre, the surgeon comes out and speaks to the asparagus tip.

“I have good news and bad news.”

“Tell me the good news first.”

“The good news is that your friend has survived the ordeal and the surgery was a success.”

“And the bad news?”

“He’ll remain a vegetable for the rest of his life.”

*     *     *     *     *

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.

“Go away!” said the old lady. “I haven’t got any money!” and she proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. “Don’t be too hasty!” he said. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. “If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.”

The old lady stepped back and said, “Well I hope you’ve got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning.”

Advertisements