My jokes this week come have been sent to me by fellow loveahappyending author Janice Horton. They originally came from well known, and much loved comedian, Tommy Cooper. They have recently been enjoying a revival, with some jokes appearing on Birthday Cards in stores, and others doing the rounds on Facebook. It’s nice to know that he is still as popular as he was in the seventies.
Thank you Janice and hope these make you smile.
- Went to the paper shop – it had blown away.
- I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
- I bought some HP sauce the other day. It’s costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
- Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.
- Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
- A woman told her doctor, ‘I’ve got a bad back. ‘The doctor said, ‘It’s old age.’ The woman said, ‘I want a second opinion. ‘The doctor says, ‘OK. you’re ugly as well.’
- A man walked into the doctor’s, The doctor said ‘I haven’t seen you in a long time’
The man replied, ‘I know I’ve been ill’.
- A man walked into the doctor’s, he said ‘I’ve hurt my arm in several places’.
The doctor said ‘well don’t go there any more’.
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
- Slept like a log last night …….. woke up in the fireplace.
- Went to the corner shop – bought 4 corners.
- Two blondes walked into a building. You’d have thought one would have seen it.
- I went to the doctors the other day and I said, ‘have you got anything for wind?’
So he gave me a kite.
- I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.
Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair.
- I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, ‘Go to Bournemouth, it’s great for ‘flu.
So I went, and I got it.